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 US Religous Leader Dies Badly

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Clem
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PostSubject: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:41 am

Apparently one of those extreme right wing moral majority types had been found dead in really dodgy circumstances.

You can read the report here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

The best part is his list of personal effects found on (and in) his corpse:

Clothing: The decedent was received wearing two (2) wet suits, one scuba diving mask, one pair of diving gloves, one pair of slippers, one pair of rubber underwear, two (2) ties, five (5) belts, eleven (11) straps.

Personal Effects: One yellow metal ring intact on left ring finger, one dildo.
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JasonBarrett
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:07 am

hahahaah wtf!!!
only in america

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andy
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:46 pm

Messy... the old 'double wetsuit' special. That does bring back some good memories...
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Clem
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:22 pm

Yeah that's what I don't understand.

Ok, your into wearing a wetsuit, shoving a dildo up your bum and tying yourself up - but why on earth would you wear two wetsuits?
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andy
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:29 pm

so you understand:
1. wearing a wetsuit for sexual purposes
2. shoving a dildo up your arse... and...
3. tying yourself up.

but you are having trouble reconciling the second wetsuit...?

Maybe he was cold? though you would think he'd go for the central heating option over the second wetsuit... any ideas?
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Clem
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Wed Oct 10, 2007 11:40 pm

Having lived with you in the past, I'm used to some fucked up shit - but two wetsuits?
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andy
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:11 am

clearly clem has repressed the infamous 'two wetsuits' incident of September 1997. It was hard for me, but clem bore the brunt of the prolonged attack. Perhaps we could all chip for a bit of professional help??
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JasonBarrett
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:19 am

maybe he was REALLY concerned about testicular inversion

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Van: Oh look who went and got a calculator
Munter: Yeah I did. Used it to work out what 50/50 means.
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Clem
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:50 am

I'm sure that the law of diminishing returns kicks in pretty fast with wetsuits.

I wonder if his last thought was "man, I hope the atheists are right"?
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ShadowHawk
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 6:09 am

Clem wrote:
I wonder if his last thought was "man, I hope the atheists are right"?

Fuck... that's hilarious! Smile
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Clem
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:52 am

Some other last thoughts/words:

"Splish splash I was taking a bath..."
"Damn that second wetsuit makes it hard to move... and breath"
"Now that I'm safe from testicle inversion, what could possibly go wrong"
"Fuck"

Feel free to add some more...
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JasonBarrett
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:44 pm

having struggled many times putting on 1 wetsuit, i think the man should be commended for being able to put a second one on in the first place...

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Van: Oh look who went and got a calculator
Munter: Yeah I did. Used it to work out what 50/50 means.
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Clem
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Sat Oct 13, 2007 12:25 am

He's better than that. Not only did he put a second wetsuit on, he also had a dildo up his arse when he did it, and then managed to tie himself up so well that he ended up suffocating. That's dexterity.
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andy
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PostSubject: Re: US Religous Leader Dies Badly   Sat Oct 13, 2007 7:24 pm

The worst bit had to be right at the end... at the special moment between pleasure and panic when he thought:

"man, this shit rocks... hang on... I can't breathe... gasp... no wait, its just strangalation pleasure, go with it reverend... but... gasp... jesus - save me... damn that second wetsuit..."
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ShadowHawk
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PostSubject: Don't forget about the afterlife!   Sat Oct 13, 2007 9:33 pm

Meanwhile all the ghosts of his dead relatives watching him in pure disgust..
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